Today’s the day we are supposed to get the definitive results from the biopsy. I am going crazy, no maybe not crazy, just feeling like I can’t function. I have a knot in my stomach and I can’t focus on anything. I don’t want to go home because I can’t keep still and at the same time I don’t want to do anything. My mind is racing and I am so jittery that every time my cell phone rings I hit the ceiling like a cat in a cartoon holding on by its claws. WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY? It must be the 2% miracle.
You see, I am not a particularly religious person, not that I don’t believe in a higher power or that I don’t have faith but I feel that I am a realist. 98% is too high a number to ignore. My rational side has been on full mode preparing for the “war” and gearing up for what seems like the inevitable. Today, rational went out the window and I, like people who gamble or play lotto when the odds are against them, am hoping for that 2% miracle.
I’ve made the decision to play lotto and change my ring tone from the oompa loompa song. I don’t think I will ever be able to see Willie Wonka and hear that song again without being peeled off the ceiling afterward.